Preparing for the Empty Nest

Just like when they were little children and wanted candy before dinner, the art of distraction is still the best defense as you send them away to college. 

Only now it’s you that needs to be distracted. Because while your child is preparing for an exciting new life without you, let’s face it... you’re looking ahead to your same old life only without them. And it can make you feel a teensy bit emotional or it can make you want to hurl yourself into rush hour traffic. 

 So, here are a few suggestions to help you cope instead of mope. The previously mentioned distraction along with positive reinforcement will be your best tools. It’s just like parenting, only this time you’re taking care of yourself. 

Try to plug into the excitement. Remember how you felt going to college or take in a movie that reflects that sense of independence and discovery like “Good Will Hunting”, “Mona Lisa Smile” even “Legally Blonde” or that one with Peter Lawford, June Allyson and that great dance number. But not “Animal House”. That’ll make your palms sweat. But you get the idea... 

Plan something fun for the fall. Having something to look forward to will make you feel better about the future. Hopefully it’ll be something that involves a little research (a trip of some sort, buying a new something or other) so that you can bury yourself in books and online when you really need a distraction. 

Get back in touch with an old friend or two from college, high school or even grade school. This way you can relive your own school adventures while re-bonding with someone who shared it with you. Again, (see number 1), it’ll help you plug into how much your child has to look forward to and at the same time provide you with a friendly distraction. 

Talk to other college moms, not so much because misery loves company but for the mutual support and helping each other keep it all in perspective. Plus, it’ll keep you off the streets. Take a class. Go on. Your child is on their way to a world of new experiences. Isn’t it time you learned something new? If you need some ideas, think of things you always wanted to do and then pick one to learn or master. Play guitar, pick up a sketch pad, learn yoga. Adding a little color to your life can be a magical thing. And activity is a great distraction. 

Write it down. While it’s good to talk with a close friend, there is something therapeutic about spilling your guts at the computer or with a pen and paper. You don’t have to save it, although it’s great to be able to go back and see where you’ve been and compare it to where you’ve gotten. Just get it all out. 

Redecorate. Not like that commercial where the mom and dad drop their son off at and rush home from to turn his bedroom into their office. This could be as simple as a new paint color or just rearranging the furniture, but it might be nice if the absence of your child wasn’t the only thing different. A new look can help you feel like change is good. 

Enjoy the difference. Suddenly you find your schedule wide open. There’s no play practice or music lessons or even dinner to make. Look on the bright side. Think of the gas money you’ll save not to mention the luxury of free time. Try sleeping in on the weekend, go to dinner during the week, play music really loud (ya rebel!), curl up with a good book and don’t put it down UNTIL YOU FEEL LIKE IT!! For all that time you’ve juggled, rushed, fretted, stressed, sacrificed and wished for five minutes peace... you’ve made it. 

Congratulations on a job well done. And now it’s back to being your life now. Enjoy it.